a parents guide to Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying

a brief introduction to bullying with technology

After the school holidays much of the summer's creativity comes to light. Sometimes new skills have been acquired and often new friendships formed. Unfortunately the return to school can also mark the recommencement of peer inflicted misery. For generations bullying has inflicted untold difficulties on the school careers of teenagers. The problem is no different today than it was when we were young, the only difference is the way the in which it happens.

Bullying is alive and well

In a survey by Beatbullying’s Policy and Research team, they found that 60% of the young people (11-16) they spoke to had been bullied. ‘Being bullied and fear of bullying is THE primary concern for young people and parents alike.’ Bullying, like most things is more widely reported today and as a result we have a better idea of why it happens and what can be done about it.

Find out more about what to you can do help Beatbulling

What is Cyberbullying?

‘the intentional and repeated harm of others through the use of computers,
cell phones, and other electronic devices’

Cyberbulling has some specific characteristics that make it different from the bullying that we remember:

It can occur at any time - today's technology is always on, especially mobile phones
It can reach a lot of people quickly - they whole class/school can be reached in an evening

One of key things to bear in mind is that the harm needs to be intentional. With today's technology it is easy to send a message that you later regret, and the nature of electronic communication means that you rarely see the impact. Young people need to learn how to resolve conflict and this learning process can often seem to be bullying. It is the intention to cause harm repetedly that defines a bully.

For a more indepth look at Cyberbullying why not take a look at the Wikipedia entry

For a more visual overview, check out our video resource that highlights some of the best short educational videos. Some of these videos are used at your children's schools to stimulate debate and build understanding
See if you recognise all the different tools that appear in this video.

Terminology

Flaming
is the hostile and insulting interaction between two Internet users. Usually in a public/social context ie: on a social network, discussion board or chat room.

Harassment
Repeatedly sending nasty, insulting, mean messages to a person, often anonomously.

Denigration
Spreading gossip, usually untrue about a person in a public forum, where peers will find it. The intention is to damage reputaion/friendships.

Impersonation
is pretending to be someone else to damage their reputation. Most social networking site are free and have no identity verification.

Outing
is publicly revealing secrets or embarassing information.

Exclusion
is intentionally excluding someone from an online group

list via cyberbully.org

These methods can be seen repeatedly in reports of Cyberbulling and often lead to very serious situtions. A case of impersonation in Brighton, led a 16 year old to try and commit suicide

Technology

Cyberbullies use all available technologies to cause misery to their victims. That means that all the positive and good things that your children use, can very quickly become the source of anxiety. The key factor is how personal the medium is, email addresses, mobile numbers and instant message accounts ALL provide direct access to your children and are difficult to effectively filter. They provide the basis for harassment.

Social networks, image/video sharing sites and online games all provide more public forums for impersonation, denigration, outing & exclusion.

Who's who

There are a few key roles that you will see in most eductional resources:

the teacher
the parent
the bully
the bystander
the victim

There is plenty of scope for these roles to be experimented with, and as with traditional bullying it is the bystander who can help/hurt the most.

Whilst bullies can be strangers, it is more likely that the victims know the bully. As a result, keeping personal details private is very important - this term's best friend can sometimes be next term's enemy. Someone with your phone number who doesn't like you can make your life a misery.

What to do..

Advice for young people

Be aware of risky online behaviour; disclosing personal information, excessive Internet use, risky sexual behaviour & violent gaming.
If you wouldn't say it in person why say it online? - just because you can't see me and I can't see you, respect others.
Keep private information private - especially passwords, but think twice before giving out phone numbers, email adresses and IM details.
Talk to someone you trust if you feel uncomfortable about anything that happens online, hopefully it will be a parent!
Keep any evidence of bullying (text messages, emails etc...) it is possible that bullies could be breaking the law.
Try and be a "helpful" bystander, if someone you know is being bullied speak out or tell someone you trust.

Advice for parents

Get involved - make sure you know as much possible about your children's online lives, get them to show you (they care about it).
Look out for changes in behaviour, your child may become a victim, a bully or a bystander.
Remember mobiles - it is easy to think of Cyberbulling as needing a computer but today's mobiles do more than enough.
Use the available tools, IM clients, games, even browsers have built in safety features and some will allow you to keep a record of activity.
Keep evidence - however you choose to address the problem (via the school, direct with parents or via your service provider/police), you will need some evidence.

For a more indepth look at what you can do see our featured sites below or check out this article by Stephen Carrick-Davies

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