Tips for new Facebook parents

Earlier this week we wrote about how you can monitor your child on Facebook. But what about setting the account up in the first place?

If you are not a Facebook user yourself, it's easy to be blindsided by a sudden request for an account from your child. A flat refusal might work for a while, but with over 70 percent of teens using Facebook on a regular basis, your child may start to feel left out. The last thing you want him or her to do is resent your intransigence and open an account without your knowledge.

If you are unfamiliar with Facebook or are not sure what's the right approach for a tween or young teen, here are a few tips to help get you started:

Use your own e-mail address to open the account

If you are setting up an account for a tween or young teen, use your own e-mail address or an e-mail address that you both have access to. This way, you will see friend requests as they come in and any other notifications like tags (your child's name) in posts or photos. You will also know if your child tries to change the password!

Quality not quantity

When you first open a Facebook account, there is a tendency to equate the number of friends you have with how popular you are. That usually results in a mad dash to friend everyone you know...and quite a few people you don't! Resist the temptation. Building a friend list slowly but surely will make for a much more satisfying Facebook experience.

Don't allow Facebook to choose friends for you

When you first open an account, Facebook will suggest lots of friends for you based on previous Facebook accounts run off the same computer (very sneaky!) or based on the Profile information you provide. It will also ask for permission to search your e-mail account, so it can suggest even more friends.

Ignore them all! You should carefully add friends based on your own preferences, not Facebook's.

Choose the Profile Photo carefully

The photo on your child's Facebook profile is very important. It can say volumes about how they see themselves, as well as what you, as a parent, think about them. Cutesy is OK, provocative is a no-no. If you're not comfortable having a photo of your child up there at all, then think about using a picture of a favorite pet, or maybe an avatar. (That's a cartoon-style image, not the tall blue lady from the movie!)

Be selective about the Profile Information

Although the account will be live straight away, you still need to complete the Profile Information. Click on Profile on the menu bar and click Info on the left-hand side. Here, you can edit your Basic Information, Personal Information, Contact Information, Education, Work and the things you are interested in like Sports and Arts & Entertainment.

When filling out your Profile Information, you should assume that everything you complete will be visible to others. Although Facebook allows you to hide Contact Information, you should leave that blank anyway.

Privacy Settings

Once you have completed the Profile Information, go back to the menu bar and click on Account. From the dropdown menu, click on Privacy Settings. Facebook will give you a brief overview of all the Privacy Settings options. Most Privacy Settings are set by default to Everyone. Here, it's recommended that you change all the settings to Only Friends.

On the Apps, Games ans Websites page, click on Edit Settings next to Public search and uncheck the Enable public search box. This will make sure your child's Facebook information is not searchable by Google or other search engines.

Remember, Facebook has a strong tendency towards openness, which may be fine later in life. When your child starts out in the social networking world, the emphasis should be on privacy.

Be careful about adding older Friends

Be careful about who you and your child add as friends. That 19-year-old cousin might be a great guy at Thanksgiving dinners and family reunions but if he's just started college and likes to party, there may be things on his Facebook page that you would rather your child didn't see. Remember, Facebook works both ways: Your child will be able to see everything that is posted to her friends' pages and even to some friends of friends' pages.

Teach what's appropriate

Once your child's account is up-and-running, spend some time together discussing what's appropriate to write or post and what's best left off the site. Teach them to ask permission before posting photos of other people. (Particularly photos of Mommy in a swimsuit!) Talk about updates and photos that are posted by your child's friends and what you like or don't like about them.

As we suggested before, set-up the right way, Facebook can provide an invaluable opportunity for parents to teach cyber awareness and appropriate online behavior. Grab the opportunity before it's too late!

Do you have other tips for kids – and their parents – starting out on Facebook? Share them with The Online Mom!

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Nice intro for Facebook beginners

Little Ways You're Leaking Privacy

These days, so much of what you do online actually creates a record of your activities and preferences. You may not realize that you and your kids are creating permanent records that can be accessed by everyone from marketers to future employers. The stakes are high because unintentional public information can last for a very, very long time. Here are 10 ways you may be living much more publicly than you think.

1. Allowing yourself to be publicly searchable on Facebook.
2. Broadcasting your location.
3. Ignoring your YouTube Activity Sharing settings.
4. Video chatting with strangers.
5. Not talking to your kids about online privacy.
6. Giving your baby a Facebook page.
7. Neglecting to read a company's privacy policy.
8. Using your real name as your user name in virtual worlds and other online games.
9. Revealing your status.
10. Letting your kid sign up for anything before you know the facts.

Whatever age your children are this video is worth 5 minutes to see what is being talked about and how parents are addressing the issue of Social Networking.

Some tips on keeping your child safe online:
- encourage your child to only share basic information on their main profile page and make sure that their privacy settings are set to private, with information only available to friends and family.
- keep an eye on the photos they display and encourage them only to upload pictures that you as their parents / carer would be happy to see – anything they would not want to be passed round the dinner table should NOT make it on to the web. It's also not a good idea to post pictures which can identify the school which your child attends since this could help someone locate them.
- keep an eye on who your child is adding as friends. If you have any doubts ask them to delete any that you are uncertain about.
- if your child accesses social networks on their mobile, make sure they know not to leave it lying around where others can access their account
- if your child keeps a blog, encourage them not to give too much away. Friends can call them for the address of the latest party rather than read about it on their site.

I managed to hear this programme when it was broadcast and it was rather uncomfortable listening, as a parent of young girls.

The programme touches on some of the issues of teenage relationships formed around the use of the Internet, but goes on to examine some other more difficult aspects of todays relationships, including abuse and pornography.

I highly recommend listening, if you can take it.

Interesting article about the risks moving to mobile devices.

Have a look at the Parents Choice Foundation site for reviews of some mobile apps http://www.parents-choice.org/award.cfm?thePage=mobile&p_code=p_sof

Recommended Facebook Privacy Settings for Teens

Facebook's default privacy settings are not for everyone – especially minors – which is why the service allows users to customize their settings. The following chart shows ConnectSafely's recommendations for most teens. We realize that not all teens have the same level of maturity and that not all parents have the same rules for their kids' online socializing, so please review this chart with your teens to help set the right privacy settings for them. For more on Facebook safety and privacy for teens, please see our booklet A Parents' Guide to Facebook.

Please note: If you're not already logged into Facebook and you click on a link to Facebook below the Table of Contents, you'll be asked to provide user name and password the first time only. We understand if you're uncomfortable with entering your password after clicking from another Web page (it's a technique used in phishing attacks, but obviously not by us), so if you are uncomfortable, just go to Facebook.com and log in from the home page, then return to this page.

Contents:

Edit Profile Settings	Contact Information in Profile
Basic Privacy Settings	Customized Privacy Settings
Things Others Share	Contact Information
Application Privacy Settings	Block Users and Invites

Edit Profile Settings - Basic Information

Setting	Recommendation for teens
Current city	Generally OK
Hometown	Generally OK
Interested In	Leave blank or think about whether the interests you type in reflect positively on you
Looking For	Leave blank
Political Views	Think about how filling this in might affect people’s perception of you and whether it could subject you to bullying
Religious Views	Generally OK, but - as above - filling this in might affect people's perception of you
Bio	Generally OK, but don't go overboard - think about how your info might look to others
Favorite Quotation	Probably OK, but check back in every now and then to see if it still represents you
Profile Picture	An appropriate photo of yourself or an object or cartoon character that represents you; or just leave blank
Relationship Status	Leave blank
Education and Work	Generally OK to list your school. Consider not listing employer
Likes and Interests (activities, music, books, movies, etc.)	Generally OK but think about what you list, how it will be perceived & whether it will subject you to bullying

Contact Information in Profile

Setting	Recommendation for Teens
Emails	Generally OK, but make available to Friends Only in Customized Privacy Settings
IM Screen Name(s)	Generally OK, but make available to Friends Only in Customized Privacy Settings
Mobile Phone	Leave blank
Other phone	Leave blank
Address/City/Town/Zip and Neighborhood	Leave blank
Website	Generally OK

Basic Privacy Settings

Setting	Recommendation for Teens
Basic Privacy Settings	Friends Only & click "Apply These Settings"

Customized Privacy Settings
(Click "Customize settings" at bottom of page.)

Setting	Recommendation
Posts by me	Friends Only
Family	Friends Only
Relationships	Only Me
Interested and looking for	Only Me
Bio and favorite quotations	Friends Only
Website	Friends Only
Religious and political views	Only Me or perhaps Friends Only
Places I check into	Only Me
Include me in “People Here Now” after I check in	Disable

Things Others Share
(Click "Customize settings" at bottom of page and scroll to
section in left-hand column below.)

Photos and videos I’m tagged in	Friends Only
Can comment on posts	Friends Only
Friends can post on my Wall	Friends Only
Friends can check me in to Places	Disable

Contact Information

Setting	Recommendation for Teens
Mobile phone	Customize & limit to people they know & trust or “Only Me”
Other phone	Customize & limit to people they know & trust or “Only Me”
Address	Customize & limit to “Only Me”
IM screen name	Friends Only
Email address	Friends Only

Application Privacy Settings

Setting	Recommendation for Teens
Applications you use	Review apps with your kids and remove any that are inappropriate
Info accessible through your friends	Review list. Disable most. Definitely disable "Places I check into"
Game and application activity	Friends Only & customize to even fewer people
Instant personalization	Uncheck “Enable instant personalization on partner website”
Public search	Disable if enabled (for minors, the default is now “Enable when I’m 18”

Block Users and Application & Event Invites from specific user
(Click "Block Lists" at bottom of Privacy Settings page.)

Setting	Recommendation for Teens	Instructions
Edit your (block) list	Block any individuals who are annoying you or who you wish to avoid	Block users you wish to avoid. You can also block application and event invites from specific people and block or unblock specific applications from contacting you or using your contact information

Not sure I ment to post the whole thing: head over to http://www.connectsafely.org/Safety-Advice-Articles/facebook-privacy-chart-fo... to see the original article

How old are your kids?

What you need to know to get started

• 5-7 years old

  Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.

  Read more

• 8-11 years old

  If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.

  This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.

  Read more

• 12-14 years old

  They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.

  You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.

  Read more

• 15+ years old

  Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.

  It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.

  Read more

Vodafone parents guide looks pretty interesting. Certainly more use to parents than many of the attempts that have been made so far.

There is a very glossy magazine that is strangely presented here http://tinyurl.com/3xjfoze and it is not clear where you can get a copy.

All in all, it feels like an initiative to be commended and shared. Relevant to all parents - take a look and let me know what you think.

Not had a chance to look through it yet, but Anne's work is usually first class.

As cyberbullying becomes more and more prevalent in the news and in our children's lives it's important to talk to your kids about their online reputation, especially on social networks, and how it can affect their real lives. Here are 5 basic tips to guide your child as they navigate the Internet:

1. If it’s Online, Consider it Public Information
There’s no way to guarantee that what you post online will stay where you intend it to be viewed. People hack Facebook accounts, friends share private messages, and companies change their privacy policies. Before your child posts a picture, types a wall post, or sends a message, they should consider if what they are sharing is "public information" -- would they want their principal, grandma, or college admissions reviewers to see it? If not, they shouldn't post it.

2. Your Internet Persona Stays With You Forever
The Internet has a very hard time forgetting and is far more like a “permanent tattoo” then we may realize. Today, and even more so in the future, college recruiters look up information about prospective applicants. Fast forward to the day when your child graduates. Hiring managers and recruiters will look at their online reputations before deciding whether to hire. So be wise – Internet mistakes stay around.

3. Practice Good Privacy
Privacy settings aren’t a perfect solution, but they do provide a certain level of protection for social media users. If your child is on a social networking website, make sure he or she knows how to keep updates from public view and max out privacy settings. Sometimes it helps for parents to use the same website, so that you can familiarize yourself with the controls. Additionally, a free tool from ReputationDefender.com, called PrivacyDefender.net, can actually set the privacy settings for you and your child with just two clicks.

4. Your Actions Online Affect Others
Many teens operate under the assumption that anything and everything is okay to share with their online friends. For example, a teen may write, "I wish my Dad would quit his job! He says he hates his job and his boss." While that may seem like an innocuous rant to the teen, if word spread to the father’s boss, that parent might be in trouble. Teens have to learn that what they share online does not only affect them, but that decisions on the Web can have consequences for others.

5. Keep Personal Information Private
One of the cruelest forms of cyberbullying occurs when a bully hijacks another student’s account, locks them out, and then pretends to be the victim. By the time your child has regained control of their account (if ever), their name and reputation could be smeared across the Internet.

To help ensure that your child never has their information stolen, teach the importance of keeping personal information (such as their full birth date, phone number, and address) out of their social networking profile. Additionally, work with your child on creating a strong password that no one else would be able to guess. Some specific tips include using a combination of uppercase and lowercase letters, symbols, and numbers. Another good option is making a mnemonic phrase into a password. For example, “I, John Brown, was born at 5:00 in the AM” becomes “IJBwb@5itAM."

Nice summary in the Readers Digest by Michael Fertik